The Hook Up Date Stories - A Break Up Story.

A friend of mine told me his dating anniversary is in 2 weeks… The problem is he wants to break up with his girl friend and doesn’t know if he should do it before or after the anniversary. This to me is a no brainer, do it now, get it over quick like a band aid but I understand a guy’s hesitancy. Ladies here is a little secret, most guys have no defense against tears and the fear is that if you break up with a woman it will end with her just crying her eyes out. Even if she never cried in all the time you were dating we have that fear. Somehow her cat getting killed, her grandmother who raised her having a cancer scare and almost losing an arm in a car accident never made her cry but a guy she has dated for 2 months breaking up with her is going to make her turn into a 4 year old girl. (Guys are not that bright, but we do have an inflated ego. Hey!!! That ego is the only way we get a date to begin with.)

Anyway this got me thinking of one of the craziest break up stories I have ever heard/been part of. So this guy “Anthony” had been in a long distance relationship for going on 2 years and it was stressful. He was constantly trying to juggle his schedule so he could spend time with his girlfriend but he always felt he spent more time traveling to meet her then actually spending time with her. What was also the killer was he constantly had to go see her. She didn’t have a car so he did all the driving. He finally sacks up and decides to break up with her and immediately a weight is lifted from his shoulders. He starts making plans with his friends again and all that needs to be done is the actual break up.

He decides why wait, the minute he can he texts her to make sure she is free that weekend so he can come up. He knows it will be rough but better to just get it over. So apparently she is part witch and calls him back. He makes the mistake of saying we have to talk and she immediately goes into freak out mode. She drags it out of him after him saying it should wait till the weekend he wants to tell her in person. Finally he tells her they should break up, over the phone. Now guys are guys. We want to do the right thing but if you give us a chance to do the easy thing we will jump on it. After she hung up on him he thought he got away with the easy thing.

Fast forward 2 days it’s Saturday night and we are all playing cards. I like to say it was a manly game like poker but actually it was 5 guys playing Magic – The Gathering. I know what you are thinking 5 guys playing magic on a Saturday night… GEEK!!! And you’re not wrong, but geeks get girls too. Hence this break up story.

So we are playing Magic waiting on some chinese food to be delivered. However the knock at the door was not the food we were waiting for but rather a very angry young lady and a sheepish looking guy.

It seems Anthony’s newly dubbed Ex-girlfriend talked some guy into driving 2 hours so she can give Anthony a piece of his mind. So now you have a recently broken up couple on a porch talking because she doesn’t want to go into his house with all his friends there. A guy sitting in a car waiting, probably hoping for sex (It’s really the only reason I can see driving a girl 2 hours to yell at her boyfriend.) Enter the Chinese food. This poor guy comes to deliver some food gets out of his car and hears a woman scream “Is this cause I wouldn’t dress up like Wonder Woman?” I can only imagine the look on the poor guys face. When Anthony came in to the house to get the money for the chinese food he found everyone trying to hold in there laughter. Guys are assholes and one guy said “Was it the Wonder Woman Costume? Cause you probably could have talked her into a Black Widow costume. “

Anthony just responded with a simple “Dick.” before he went back outside.

Finally Anthony comes back about 2 hours later.

Me: How did it go?

Anthony: It Sucked, but I think it was for the best. I feel like such a dick. Not just for breaking up with her on the phone but the entire time we were talking all I kept thinking was. It’s Cold!!! She is there in a hoodie and I don’t even have shoes on.

Me: Well have a drink that will warm you up. Hey did you hit your arm while you were outside?

I had noticed a bruise.

Anthony: No that crazy girl kept hitting me. The first time I let it go but after a while I was starting to rethink my feelings on hitting a woman.

Relationships can be hard and sometimes you need to take a moment and see if this is really the right person for you. And if you realize you are with the wrong person you can either have the break up, talk or you can fake your own death. There is a wiki article on it so it must be something a lot of people have thought about.