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So a friend of mine, “Lee”, received a text from a girl he had met a few times asking him out. “Lee” was hesitant because he didn’t think they had much in common but decided why the hell not? He might be wrong, plus she put herself out there by asking him out and figured that at least he should be able to have a good time.
Instead of a regular date they decide to meet for drinks. Lee wasn’t sure what to expect of the evening but here are a few of the highlights he told me about. Lee was too nice to say this stuff but the Italics is what he thought.
Date: “So what is your type? I normally date good looking or athletic guys but I figure I should try someone a little different.”
Did she call just call me ugly?
Date: Yeah I have 2 jobs and my own company.
Lee: Wow, How do you have any free time?
Date: Well I can set my own hours. Which is good because my daughter takes up a lot of my time.
Lee: Oh you have a Kid?
Date: Yup she is my angel. She is the only good thing to come out of my marriage.
Lee: Ouch. I have had a few friends go through divorces. They can be rough.
Date: Well we’re not divorced.
Lee: Oh, are you in the middle of getting divorced?
Date: Nope, I just kicked him out. If he wants a divorce he can get one!!!
I’m on a date with a married woman? WTF!?!
At one point several mutual friends showed up to the bar.
Date: Oh damn!!!
Lee: What?
Date: Mickey’s Girlfriend is here.
Lee: So she doesn’t like me and I don’t want to get Mickey in trouble if I decide to flash the bar again.
Wow, I did not know that was one of the options for the night... wait does that mean my friends have seen my dates boobs before I have???
Eventually one of their mutual friends cornered Lee and asked him how it was going.
Lee: I don’t think we are right for each other.
Friend: Is it the kid thing?
Lee: No actually I’m ok with the kid thing. It’s the husband thing, it’s the flashing the bar thing and it’s the she thinks I’m ugly thing.
Friend: Yeah, the husband is kind of an ass. I can’t believe they still live together.
Lee: They what?
Friend: Oh I thought you knew. They broke up but the 2 of them have been keeping it a secret from their kids.
Lee: Kids? I thought she only had one.
Friend: She does. He has 2 from some other girls, that’s why they broke up.
Lee: She lives with her ex husband, but they aren’t really divorced. She takes care of 3 kids but only one is hers the rest are his from when he cheated on her with 2 other women.
Friend: Yeah, I think she only stays there because his mom owns the house they all live in.
Lee: The Grandmother lives there too?
Friend: Yep. You know I had told her she should get out the house and then find a nice guy like you. Apparently she wants to do it backwards.
Lee: Honestly, the only good thing about this date is I might be able to pitch her life as a reality show.